


Longer Goodbye

by ThePuppeteersStudio



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Not "exactly" /reader but the notes explain, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28843344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePuppeteersStudio/pseuds/ThePuppeteersStudio
Summary: In which Guzma gets the last word from a ghost he didn't want to hear from.
Relationships: Guzma & Nezu | Piers (Pokemon), Guzma (Pokemon)/Reader
Kudos: 20





	Longer Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Because sometimes you get that spark and gotta word vomit for a few hours straight.
> 
> Inspired by and have references to Yuurivoice's "The Long Goodbye (pt. 1, 2, and 4)", "The Underground Champion pt. 2", and "Ghosted Guzma" audios, for those seeking context.

He ignored it when his phone rang with their text-tone. He didn’t get his phone from the table in their hideaway. He was just gonna let it sit there until he forgot, but Piers heard it because of course he did, and had to peer over the screen and had to open his mouth and say “someone sent you a video, I guess.”

Piers would have said if it was just a random number (he didn’t, unfortunately) and there was only one contact on Guzma’s phone that would come up without a name.

So one person it could’ve been.

He ignored it for a few more days.

Piers was kind enough not to point out that he’d stopped sleeping again, at least.

Piers wasn’t kind enough to let sleeping Growleth lie though, because a week later “if it’s just eating you up that bad without having seen what it is, you better watch it before I do.”

So here he was. One in the morning, phone in hand, staring at the play button of a video they sent him almost two weeks ago.

No more running.

He set his jaw, hit ‘play’, and then -

And then there they were. Their face staring into their phone’s camera - at him - and looking for all the world like a disheveled Pangoro with the bags under their eyes.

“There’s no good way to start this, huh, Guz’?”

A long pause, eyes drifting to the side away from the camera.

“I’m hoping you listen to this. It’s selfish of me, but I hope. I guess I should start with, this isn’t an apology. exactly, since I’m not dumb enough to expect or want forgiveness. I just… want to set the record straight. I can’t keep living like this, festering on words I know you don’t wanna hear.”

A mirthless laugh as eyes lock back to his.

“Selfish to the end, it seems.”

Another pause.

“I did love you,” and hastily, “I do love you. Arceus, I love you so much still. I miss you too. And really all I can hope is you don’t miss me. I’m hurting and I deserve every second, but you didn’t ask for this. You shouldn’t be in pain because I’m an idiot and thought I knew everything.

“Because that’s what it was, in the end. I thought I knew.”

A long, slow sigh.

“When I met you, I kinda wanted to punch you. And then you opened your mouth and I wanted to punch you more, but then my brain caught up to the words you were saying and suddenly, ‘oh, he and I are a lot alike’.”

Eyes drifted away again, a small melancholy smile on their lips.

“And.. when Aether foundation fell. When Lusamine was gone, and everything was in shambles, we found eachother again that night and, and everything was perfect. Everything was broken and in pieces but nothing ever felt more right than right then, with you. Even now, some year and a half later, nothing was better then that first week of us numbskulls learning how to laugh again. Nothing was better then those months of figuring out how to love ourselves with each other.”

Smile died in an instant, eyes like shards of glass.

“And then I did what I always have done. I started looking at the horizon when I watched the sunset.”

A slow shake of the head.

“You know I’ve been around a lot. It’s better to ask where I haven’t been rather then where I have. And when I met you, met Alola, I thought ‘hey, maybe this is it. Maybe this is home and I don’t have to wander anymore’. But that horizon line… It was like a siren’s call.

“And then I heard about Galar. About this Dynamaxing thing, this world I hadn’t seen yet. And I knew my heart was set on it, like it always is, looking at that horizon where sky bleeds into sea. Felt myself getting restless. Started looking into boats taking that route, started planning, started hunting down my old suitcase, wondered if you had one too and then -”

Eyes of glass cut back to his, gaze like frozen fire staring through that camera lense and into his soul.

“- it hit me like a Turous. You. Alola is your everything. Team Skull - disbanded as it may be - they’re your family, before I was and long after me too. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t tear you away from them. I might not have had a real family before you, but Arceus as my witness I wasn’t going to destroy the one you made in them.”

They hung their head, a hand coming to brush at their eye.

“But that horizon kept calling. And me, idiot that I am, thought I had everything figured out.

“I’d just… go. If I told you, you’d come with me, and I knew I wasn’t strong enough to tell you no. You’d come with me because you love me and I love you, and Team Skull is family but we both know you’d follow me to the ends of the earth and I’m selfish enough I wouldn’t turn you away. Me leaving like a ghost in the night was the best mercy I could give you, I thought. You’d be angry, betrayed - rightfully so - but things would calm with time and when that horizon called me back again, you’d be here in Alola waiting for me. I’d come back with stories and new experiences and you’d have your stories too, and then it’d be right back to how it was that first month of learning each other again.

“I knew you’d be miserable away from your home. I knew that siren’s call of wanderlust was going to drive me insane if I didn’t answer. So the solution was simple.”

They lift their head, eyeing the camera with a resigned fondness and a self-loathing smile he wore too often himself.

“And then you found me out. I know you aren’t stupid, and I know I wasn’t being careful enough with my planning. And then lo and behold, you jumped at the chance to chase the horizon with me, and when you asked me if I would have you, whatever resolve I had just turned to sand. I’d always have you. Always been so selfish.

“Got swept up in it all, convinced myself that you’d be okay, that maybe I was wrong and you’d be okay, that you’d love Galar like Alola too.”

A pause. A few start-and-stop sentences before they continued.

“And then you were wilting, like a hibiscus in a blizzard. I could tell you were dying, dying to go home, dying for me to get bored and go back to Alola with you. But I was flourishing. Galar feels like a dream I’ve always had and now I’m here and it’s real and I can see myself staying here. I can see myself making a life here. And… and slowly, I started to open my eyes and I realized, you weren’t. You missed home, this wasn’t home, wasn’t ever gonna be home, and, and you were still staying with me even though it was tearing you to pieces.

“I thought for a little while if I kept you with me, shared everything I was seeing with you, maybe you’d get it. But… I know that was just me being selfish. Not strong enough to tell you you should go back without me.”

An audible swallow, mouth dry.

“And then it caught up to me.”

The slightest shake of their head.

“For everything I thought I’d had figured out, I still wasn’t ready when you snapped. I wasn’t.. I wasn’t trying to rub Galar into you, wasn’t trying to make a point or anything. I wanted you to love it too, see why that horizon’s call was always gonna win, maybe hear it yourself - I wasn’t trying to, to ‘show you why I’d leave you’, as you put it. I wasn’t trying to trade you for, for the views or the stadiums or the glamour of the arena here. I just wanted you to be happy, and I thought you’d be happier in Alola, even it meant being away from each other.

“I thought I knew everything, knew how to fix it, and everything I did drove you away,” a bitter laugh as tears made their eyes shine. “The irony isn’t lost on me.”

“You hated Galar. You probably hate me now, too, for putting you through all of this. Can’t blame you. Probably back on the boat to Alola by now. Only thing you hated more than the gym stadiums was the weather here.

“I just want you to be happy, Guzma. And, I’m being selfish one last time, thinking that me finally opening my mouth and explaining myself would give you any kinda closure, but.. One last time. One last selfish act before I finally tell myself you’re happier with goodbye”

A grim smile. Not one of pity, nor regret. The smile of someone who is braving the truth no matter how much they hate it.

“I should’ve talked to you. I know it doesn’t fix it now but you were right. I should’ve. I should’ve know I didn’t know everything. I should’ve work it out with you, somehow. But what’s done is done, now, even if I hate that I let all of this get to this point.”

Their smile shifted to something a little softer, a little kinder, and just a little bit in love.

“I’m a better person for knowing you, for loving you. And I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I.. I’d say if you want to talk, you’d know where to find me, but..”

A little laugh, almost embarrassed.

“I don’t know when you’d wanna talk, and I can’t promise that the horizon won’t beckon me to somewhere new before you do. I’ll leave you alone, but I just couldn’t stand not saying something, not trying to explain myself, even if you never listen to this, or, or just blocked my number and never even get this. I just had to try.

“But hey. I’ll uh.. If my number stops working, I’ll let Plum’ know my new one, if you ever wanna. I don’t know. I guess… just so you know, I’m always.. I always wanna be there for you, but if you don’t want me to you don’t have to. Say the word and I’ll disappear, for good. Alola’s your home, and I’m not stupid enough to intrude back there if you don’t want it. You shouldn’t have to worry about a ghost showing up to haunt your islands.”

A gentle sigh, eyes briefly breaking that soul-searing connection.

“I’ll stop wasting your time. Goodbye, Guzma. And I’m sorry for the pain I brought you.”

He ignored the break in their voice when they said his name. He stared at the now-blank screen of his phone, the video ended and yet echoing in his mind like a sick replay.

He grit his teeth, threw his phone aside, and ignored Piers’ half-asleep and confused "Guzma?" from the futon when he swept out of their hideaway and into Spikemuth’s night like the Alolan storm he was.


End file.
